How Family Routines Can Transform Your Family Life

“He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom.”

- Luke  4:16

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Introduction

For better or for worse, every family life has a rhythm that significantly impacts the family culture. Many people don’t realize this, and therefore never stop to evaluate their routines and family habits to see if things can or should be changed for the better. We would like to explain why the careful selection of family routines should be a high priority for your family.

 

Consistency

People, and especially children, thrive on a rule of consistency. When family routines are firmly established – daily, weekly, and yearly – they help to create consistency in the household, minimizing surprises and disruptions for all involved. Consistent expectations for everyone, no matter the age, is also beneficial. When children see their parents doing something as simple as brushing their teeth just like they do, the daily necessity of the practice is plain to them. Consistency also lends itself to predictability, making it less likely for surprises to leave you reactive and scrambling for order. Some routines can be maintained even when traveling, regardless of where you are. This helps a sense of “home” underpin your rhythms wherever you may be.

 

Culture

A family’s routines have a significant impact on the family’s culture as well. What is celebrated and what is discouraged with the family routines will help establish this culture. Parents’ actions and rhythms serve as a model for the children, who will copy them by nature.

We encourage parents to evaluate the choices that they make in their personal lives: What clothes do you wear? What books are you reading? What movies and TV shows do you watch on a regular basis? If you find that these personal choices are not ones that you want your children to emulate, be prepared to make necessary changes. 

Your kids are watching and listening to see how they should live. Children will notice risky behaviors just as easily as less risky choices. If parents are participating in harmful behaviors, their children are much more likely to do the same. Conversely, positive and faith-building behaviors modeled by parents will encourage children to mirror them as well. Ultimately, what you choose to accept or allow in your family will establish the culture of your home, whether for good or bad.

 

Priorities

Culture is also determined by what is prioritized in the home. We make a point of building our routines around regular Bible study, hymns and songs, and prayers. We also make sure we’re home for dinner together every night to reconnect and join in fellowship.

Many people say that certain things are priorities in their homes, but then fail to put those ideals into action. This is where intentionality is critical. Faithfulness doesn’t happen by accident, and making sure that your family culture is built around the priorities you want will take thought and work. Routines can be helpful here, because using routines to establish your priorities can be a helpful tool as you get started. Consider how each of your main priorities can be enforced through daily rhythms and build your schedule with those in mind. Make sure to consider the physical and emotional needs of your family as well.

 

Generational Patterns

It’s easiest for people to have the same rhythms and routines in their household as they had growing up. Many people choose an arbitrary bedtime for their children because, “that’s the time I went to bed as a child.” But it’s important to take a closer look at the choices you’re making and make sure these generational habits are actually shaping your routines in a positive way, as well as the routines of generations that will follow after you.

 

Conclusion

Being intentional with your family routines is an excellent way to prioritize what takes precedence in the culture you’re building within the walls of your home. These rhythms and habits will not only make your family life more consistent and stable, you will also minimize the presence of reactiveness and unnecessary disruption. By being purposeful with your routines, you have the power to shape not only your own children, but also generations to come.

 

Key Points

• Family routines are an easy way to be intentional with your family and to demonstrate what is important in life to your children.
• Family routines can help support your family’s culture.
• Family routines are often implemented intuitively by future generations.